The Fallow
There is an old concept in farming, which dates back to at least Roman times, of every third season leaving the soil bare of crops. The barren season, called the fallow, would allow the soil to rejuvenate for future growth. Without the fallow, the soil would become less and less productive, until growth would altogether stop.
The reflection needed for self-growth is like the fallow.
Every so often, you need to pull yourself out of your day-to-day routine and account to yourself for the person who you are. This is not to scold yourself for making mistakes, but instead to reflect on them to make sure that you are growing into the person you want to be.
A month and a half ago I moved to a new place for law school. This presented me with a whole array of new challenges: a new subject to learn, large quantities reading, a new routine, finding new places, finding the right social scene and most difficulty making new friends.
I think that I have done a reasonable job in responding to these challenges. I have learned how to budget my time, dodged the heat from professors, and have been meeting a lot of new people. But despite these triumphs I have been deeply troubled and couldn’t exactly understand why.
Over the last weekend, I took a break from studying and did a lot of thinking. I realized that in searching for my identity, I had ironically forgotten who I was and what I stand for. I had learned to study better, but forgot why I value the leisure hours more than study hours. I made many new friends, but for many of them had been motivated by their social prowess rather than their character and desire to have a good time. I was not balancing my values, setting lofty goals, and always improving. I was acting shallow and unlike a humanist philosopher.
This was the source of my trouble and decided that this needs to be corrected.
I share my story as an example of how easy it is to get caught up in law school, or the legal world, or any profession of stress. We become so encapsulated in the importance of mundane details of our daily lives that we forget what matters and who we are. I think it is necessary for a person to be able to pull back and reflect to realize the significance of their activities and why they are doing them.
One of the most important aspects of being human is growing into the person that we want to be. Ironically our ambitions can easily get in the way of our improvement. We need to pay special attention to our lives in such as busy world because it’s easy to get lost. It is necessary that we make sure that we make time to ask ourselves, if what we are doing each day is on the path to our self-improvement. If not then we are being disingenuous and only cheating ourselves out of happiness.

